Phoenix Fun

Once again I forgot I had this blog. I mentioned this back in October when I did a brief recap of what, if I had my readers, may have missed from their favorite, Rosco Finger. Anywho, like I mentioned in my last entry I have a son on the way and he will likely be born in June in lovely Phoenix. Actually Phoenix's climate proves that there is Hell on Earth because temperature soar past 110 degrees and without the advent of air conditiong man would have little chance of surving in this desert of depravity.

Whenver they mention going green, the polar ice caps melting and all of the other prat falls of global warming, in reality global climate change (it snowed at my wedding in the frozen tundra of Las Vegas)i feel that the cities of Phoenix and Las Vegas should be held accountable. Nine-months out of the year we can not survive without A/C and due to the general lay out of the city you have to take a car to work. The city (and when I say city I mean all of Phoenix and its outlining suburbs) has a less than stellar bus line and recently they adapted a light rail system. Am I part of this problem? Most definitely. I drive 76-miles round trip to the office, usually with the AC on, while talking on the phone. But if their was a bus available I would definitely take it and be happy as a clam to do so.

Also, "happy as a clam"makes no sense to me. Clams are usually harvested for food or pearls and live in can't really move. But quality of live is relative and hell, they could be content working to adorn someone neck. To each their own I guess.

But enough about my gripe about my home in Phoenix. After a few years you get used to the unbearable heat, conservative a$$holes that think Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his modern SS tactics are all Kool and The Gang. Celebrate fascism COME ON! (Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his methods make more sense when you find his middle name is Mussalin

These days I fins myself trying to buy a house during a a recession but The Man is less inclined to loan out scrilla.Ironically enough I work for Bank Of America, or at least one of the many companies they bought in the last few years, and I can't get enough funding together to buy one of the area's many foreclosed homes.

Rosco Update: I Forgot About I Had This Blog

Okay, I haven't contributed to this digital diatribe since May 1st, which is like five months and like 11 days, and there have been a few relevant Rosco changes (besides our kid Lohan coming out of the closet).

First off I moved back to Phoenix and decided to get married. That is the short version of it but essentially I headed back to the Valley on 4/20 and almost had a heart attack when I tripled my dosage of Adderall and decided to drive non-stop for 18-hours from northern California. I viewed the the excessive low grade speed as a necessarily evil because the drive is really and boring and I needed to stay awake while listening to KNBR. Oddly enough KNBR is available south of Palm Springs which is convenient because the only radio show I could find on the dial while outside of Indio involved an interview with the dude that wrote a book about Mark Roget. Side note; it turns out that Roget had a bitch of a case of OCD and his Thesaurus was the result of his excessive list making.

And secondly I am going to be a Dad soon, with the girl I am going to marry (there will be no Shawn Kemp styled shenanigans going down with Rosco). I recently learned about the fatherhood thing, like Thursday after work, and I am still in shock over it. I am really excited about being father. For the most part I have a had a really empty lifestyle, meaning that I have had to only worry about me and now I have a family.

More Naked Lohan News

The plot thickens as rumor float about that Lohan will partake in some full frontal nudity in her upcoming movie where it is rumored that she will play a nymphomaniac waitress.

Courtesy of Daily Mail:

Troubled Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan is planning to appear naked in an low-budget film in an effort to revive her flailing career, it has been claimed.

The actress is said to have agreed to strip down for just £40,000 for the indie film Florence to prove herself as a "mature actress".

The 21-year-old, who previously played a pole dancer in the box-office flop I Know Who Killed Me, has reportedly agreed to "full frontal" nudity in her role as a nymphomaniac waitress in the drama.

An insider told The Sun: “Lindsay doesn't care she's getting paid peanuts. She wants to remind people she can act and that she is worth hiring.”

Another source added: “She is fully aware of the potential of her body. Lindsay wants to build up an image as a mature, responsible actress.”

The actress is no stranger to stripping down - she posed nude for New York magazine in March in a recreation of Marilyn Monroe's legendary 1962 shoot by Bert Stern.

Lindsay has previously spoken about her struggle to find quality acting roles following a difficult year which included yet another stint in rehab.

She said last month: "Right now I just want to find a great script, a great role.

"I was so used to working and working and working, and for a good few months there was nothing for me to do. Now I know what it's like to be an out-of-work actor, and how much it scares me."

The actress is also working a new album and she's hoping for big chart success.

In terms of sound, she says: "I want it to be kind of Kylie Minogue-meets-Rihanna. I hope to tour with it and I hope to really promote it."

-This YouTube clip is from "I Know Who Killed Me". It doesn't show the goods but it gives us an idea of what we all want to see.

Marilyn Monroe and Savannah

In my mind the unknown dude that bought this tape is handling it the right way, some things should never be seen so we can maintain a particular image in our mind's eye. Of course I never shy away from nude pics of Monroe but to watch her screw around is a different brand of beer. Oddly enough I can't watch any pornography that involves someone dead, this includes necrophilia and anyone who has passed on by the time I am watching their work. Like Savanah, who committed suicide over 10 years ago, it just seems creepy to watch her in any Vivid entertainment. The same thing happened when Anna Nicole Smith passed away; she went from pin up girl to corpse and I still find her attractive but not in an erotic kind of way. More along the lines of beauty as opposed to sexuality or eroticism. That and I accidentally stumbled upon an autopsy photo of her and it is burned into my psyche forever, which kind of rules out watching Anna Nicole Smith: Exposed.

Courtesy of the Celebrity Cafe:
Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape Will Be Kept Private 14-Apr-2008 Written by: Mallory Groff

A New York businessman has purchased a tape of Marilyn Monroe performing a sex act on an unknown man.

Not every celebrity sex tape is sold on the Internet anymore; some are kept in private collections. According to Reuters, a New York businessman recently purchased a tape of Marilyn Monroe performing a sex act with an unknown male. However, the unnamed businessman will not be releasing the sex tape to the public.

FBI director J. Edgar Hoover used the tape to try and prove that John F Kennedy not only had an affair with Monroe but also was the male in the video, which never shows the man’s face.

The FBI informant who gave a copy of the tape to the FBI refused to sell his copy to Joe DiMaggio for $25,000. The informant’s son, however, has sold his copy with the help of memorabilia collector Keya Morgan to the unnamed New York businessman. The only other known copy is in FBI files.

Morgan revealed that the businessman will not release the tape because he wants to protect Monroe’s privacy. Morgan said, “The gentleman who bought it said out of respect for Marilyn he's not going to make a joke of it and put it on the Internet and try to exploit her. That's not his intention and I would never get my name involved if that were to happen.”

The tape was sold for $1.5 million.

The Price Is Right For High Profile Hookers

While driving around the Bay Area with my girlfriend we got in a random conversation about the recent prostitution scandal involving the former New York governor. Per a news source that I forgot, the former governor paid $3,000 per encounter . (Actually it was $4,300 and this included travel and a $1,100 deposit towards future services.)

Anyhoo this seemed a bit steep, either my initial $3K assertion or the real $4.3K fee, because it stands to reason that you'll get an hour or two of pleasure with a good looking lady. My main thing is that Dupre is attractive but not so attractive to warrant such fees, at least according to Rosco Finger and his devilish hands.

This chatter about high priced hookers continued as we navigated Bay Area traffic congestion and I maintained I would only pay $3,000 for a romp if it involved someone famous, my list included Charlize Theron, Ashley Judd and Scarlett Johansson, just because I would have eternal bragging rights over my buddies. For all eternity I'd be the one guy amongst my friends that nailed a hot and famous chick, money spent be damned. Please keep in mind that $3000, based upon my prior job, works out to six weeks of work.

With that said I needed to know what I could get for my $3,000 in a brothel:

Chasey Lain: $1650 per hour
Keisha: $1600 per hour
Lisa Sparxxx $1600 per hour

For the most part most porn stars charge around $1600 per hour, so yeah I could twice (almost)bang for my buck.